Be Careful About Giving Away Fish

There’s an old saying, “Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime.”  As sayings go, it’s honest, simple and nearly universal in application.  The essence of the saying has been the core of parenting, governing and preaching for centuries.  The results of its application are strong, resourceful individuals with the ability to care for themselves, live happy lives and participate in society, making it stronger without leaching its resources.  And if taken literally, it also leads to a great hobby.

You’ve got to teach a lot of fishing when you’re a parent.  If a child gets in a bind there are a couple of options, change the environment (give them a fish) or train the child to either change their own environment or thrive where they are (teach them to fish).  Changing the environment for them is often the fastest and easiest option but survival is a skill that lasts a lifetime.  Consider turtles, they’re provided by nature a change of environment the instant adversity appears; a great coping skill…until they try to cross the highway.

America is still the land of opportunity.  While I don’t subscribe to the theory that you can be anything you want (I’ll never play in the NBA or be the lead singer for Journey), this is a country where someone with reasonable intelligence, decent health and perseverance can find success.  At least they will if they don’t get lulled into thinking their success is someone else’s responsibility.  

Unfortunately, too many capable people are sidelined because they never get to a severe enough place of need to motivate action.  Like boiling a frog, they’re gradually disabled with comfortable, well meaning help from friends, family or government programs.  A helping hand can change a life for good but a hand out can assure it won’t change at all.  

I’ve heard people point to disease and disaster as proof that God either doesn’t exist or just doesn’t care and others say if you pray hard enough God will provide your heart’s desire (yes, I have both rabid atheists and rabid Christian FaceBook friends).  Both would be correct if God (or Shiva, or Waheguru or the deity of your choice) were big on giving fish.  But if the Supreme Being is interested in long term success he (or she) is probably going to let us struggle until we decide to learn…or not learn.  The Biblical term is “God the Father”, not “God the Grandma”.

I’m certainly not against helping people, it’s our humanitarian duty, so long as we’re not crippling the recipient in the process.  That lady talking on the latest I-phone, smoking a cigarette and using food stamps is being crippled.  That friend that spends hours telling you why everyone else is responsible for their failure is being crippled.  And that little kid who’s not being made to follow the rules, respect those around them and share…crippled.  

Whether out of love, fear, convenience or whatever reason, we’re all guilty of giving a fish to someone that should have to earn it.  But, hopefully, we’re also guilty of teaching someone with a need how to bait a hook, make their own way and conquer their problems.  For the sake of everyone involved, it’s a good idea to be careful about giving away fish.