We’re Energizing

 

Several years ago I took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, a test that rates a person’s dichotomies (preferences), extrovert/introvert, sensing/intuitive, thinking/feeling and judging/perception, in the way they look at the world.  I don’t remember all my preferences but I do remember one, I’m an introvert.

I remember that particular one because, for me, it’s a bit lopsided.  The Myer’s Briggs traits are on a sliding scale since people express both to varying degrees.  For example, a person might be 60% extrovert and 40% introvert, slightly more extroverted with some introvert tendencies.  I’m not so balanced (I’ve heard that before), I’m about 90% introverted.

According to psychologist, Dr. Marti Laney, introverts make up about a fourth of the population.  And since most introverts won’t bother, I’ll explain them (us).

First, let’s define extrovert and introvert.  Extroverted doesn’t mean outgoing; it refers to someone that gets mental energy from interacting with others.  They need frequent human interaction.  Introverts have a code word for them…exhausting.

Introverts aren’t necessarily shy; they get energy from pondering and processing.  They need a fair amount of quiet time to get their mind right…particularly if their charming wife and delightful children are particularly vibrant (really loud) and interact without apprehension (don’t understand ‘quiet time’).

Another way of thinking about it is an extrovert’s battery is charged by socializing and an introvert’s is charged by thinking.  That’s not to say introverts don’t like being around people, they usually do, but after a while they run out of bars and need to recharge.

Introverts don’t hate conversation (well, not all of us).  Maybe not great at chit-chat, if you strike a nerve some won’t shut up.  If I happen across an interesting soul or the right topic I can chat for hours but making small talk is brutal…like being hit repeatedly on the nose with a rolled up newspaper…like ‘quiet time’ must be for extroverts.  

Introverts aren’t friendless and lonely.  They may not be with people all the time but that doesn’t mean they’re alone.  I’ve got a lot of friends…or at least people that don’t hate me…or at least people that don’t show it.  Sure, I may go weeks or months between seeing them, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t friends, it just means we didn’t have anything to say.  I figure they’ll call if they need me and I’d rather not pester them (pestering is a good way to lose friends).

Introverts aren’t antisocial…by definition.  I’d imagine most people leaning toward the antisocial side do so because they’ve suffered emotional duress from rejection.  That can happen to introverts and extroverts alike, maybe more so to extroverts since they expose themselves more readily socially.   Unpracticed is probably a better explanation for most introverts antisocial behavior.  Similar to the way ‘unpracticed’ explains my athletic prowess.

Since a quarter of you share my tendencies and the rest tolerate us I thought we ought to put the cards on the table.  If your spouse heads to the workshop periodically or your kid holes up in their room or your friend doesn’t call you for days, don’t distress.  We’re not hiding, were energizing.