And that’s why I just got irritated. On CBS Sunday Morning,
the only ‘never-miss’ on my DVR…besides Doc Martin…was a story about
coincidence. (Coincidentally, I was looking for a topic to write about.) It
wasn’t the story that irritated me; it was Professor Jay Koehler, at the
Northwestern University School of Law in Chicago.
Professor Koehler stated a coincidence is, “a striking co-occurrence
of events that appear to be meaningfully related but, in fact, are related only
by chance.”
Technically (according to Merriam-Webster Online), a
coincidence is a situation in which events happen at the same time in a way
that is not planned or expected. Similar definitions but with the Prof’s being,
to my ear, a bit judgy.
I believe coincidences happen, and often, but I also think fate
plays a part in our lives. There are too many stories of the stars lining up,
so to speak, for random events to be a proper explanation. But that’s not what
this story is about. It’s about my
reaction to Professor Koehler.
A guy whom I’ve never met, who I’ll likely never meet, who
has no impact on my life outside what I grant him, disagrees with my opinion
and it irritates me (which is me allowing him to have an influence on me). I
was offended he had a different opinion on something neither of us could ever
prove right or wrong. Why!?!
Because I felt threatened. If there is only coincidence it
affects my belief that life has a plan for me, that my lack of success in
pursuits is personal failure instead of a series of events preparing me for a specific
future success. It means my wife’s hand wasn’t guided to pick my name out of
the hat (literally) and we weren’t meant to be.
It means Mr. Scott’s example of acceptance and encouragement was
randomly a part of my schooling instead of a seed for my success working with
the irrationally opinionated, unjustly self-confident Millennials. It means the
‘grand scheme’ isn’t awaiting my contribution and I’m not important, that life
goes on with or without me.
And it doesn’t matter…not whether coincidence does or
doesn’t rule the day. What doesn’t matter is anyone else’s opinion…unless I let
it matter. If someone doesn’t like my bald head and beard it doesn’t mean I
need to be offended, I need to shift my shaving 180 degrees or that I’m less of
a person for my grooming habits. It
doesn’t even mean they have poor taste. It means they have different experiences,
observations and preferences…leading them to have poor taste.
I’ve heard it said, you can’t be offended without your own
permission. I believed that before this
morning, and I still do. Apparently, my
emotions forgot to check with my belief system before reacting to Professor
Koehler’s statements. So, regardless of
his or anyone else’s statements, based on my lifetime of experiences,
observations and preferences, I don’t believe exclusively in coincidence.
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