There’s a Reason Men Marry Women

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The following story is sad…but, hey, the guy was asking for it.
Recently, Muhammad Niaz, a 40 year old resident of Mubarakabad, Bahawalnagar, a ‘normal Joe’ with a wife and six kids, agreed to let Pakistani pir (faith healer) Muhammad Sabir kill him if he promised to bring him back to life.  Niaz laid on a table, had his hands and legs bound and allowed Sabir to cut his throat. 

Now, I won’t delve into questions like: “what if it doesn’t work?”, “if it does work, how will you eat with a big slash across your throat?” or “if you really trust this guy, why are they tying you up?”, but I do have this question: “where was your wife in this decision?”

Before you get the impression I’m pointing out her entitlement to an opinion based on potential loss of a spouse, support for the family or general emotional trauma, I’m not.  My question is based on a general principle associated with men.  We are genetically prone to leap without looking.

Case and point: I want a crossbow for hunting season.  We have the money in savings for the crossbow.  Theoretically, if I get a few deer we could repay savings with grocery money from beef not purchased.  But there’s more information to be added to the equation, like: “do we have space to store a bulk of meat?”, “can we eat venison in place of beef all the time?” and “am I a decent hunter?”  The ‘across the board’ answer to all of the questions is, “nope!” 

The odds that my testosterone driven ego would ask those extra questions are low…because I suffer a genetic disability, a Y chromosome.  Fortunately, my fear of hugely ticking my wife off (I do it on a mini scale all the time) keeps me from heading to the sporting goods store.

I HATE sitcoms like “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Tool Time” that base their entire premise around the idiocy of men and brilliance of women.  After all, I’ve made some pretty good decisions in my life, like asking my wife to marry me, and…some other stuff.  And she’s made some boneheaded choices like…I’ve forgotten because I’m so quick to forgive, but I’m sure there’s a long list.  But I am willing to admit; in general men need a voice of reason in their ear when they’re going to make big decisions.  And by ‘voice of reason’ I mean someone who has a stake in the game, not a guy who gets great amusement from watching a buddy stub his toe.

Back to Muhammad, well, he died.  At a time when she should have been rolling her eyes at a husband moping around like a pubescent kid grounded for sneaking out at night, she’s burying the moron.  And in a few months when she should have been setting her jaw not to say anything while Muhammad rambled on about how cool it would have been to be resurrected, she’ll be struggling to feed a half dozen kids.

Evolution has favored reproduction of those smart enough to survive…and those lucky enough to marry them.  There’s a reason men marry women.